Friday, March 21, 2014

How Do I Hate Thee ...

by Kelly

Today I've worked on something I hate; a part of being a writer that I despise more than anything else. So, with a little help from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I decided to compose a poem on the subject.

How do I hate thee, Two-Page Synopsis? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling that if
My story could be told in two pages,
I would have already done that.
I hate thee on the level of folding laundry
That will be dirty again in five minutes or helping with math homework.
I hate thee freely, as I let every cat out of the bag;
I hate thee purely, as I’m constrained to a mere 600 words.
I hate thee with a passion I usually save for
Televised political debates or trying on skinny jeans.
I hate thee with a hate I seem to remember
From high school trigonometry, --- I hate the summarizing,
Condensing, “nutshelling” and will all my life! --- and, if the Agent choose,
I shall continue to hate thee until I am like unto J. K. Rowling or Stephen King.

4 comments:

Shirley Drew said...

Love it, Kelly--made me smile as I sit here trying to compose the same darn thing!!

Jenny said...

I feel your pain! But I loved your post!

Sarah Sullivan said...

Ha! That was a good one. I'm so glad to know that others encounter such negative feelings about writing at times. Your hate makes me feel better. : )

amyknichols said...

LOL! So great. I hate synopses, too. :)

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