Posted by Linda
How
many times have you reread a sentence and found yourself laughing. Or, at your
critique group, someone read your manuscript and everyone giggled. Embarrassing,
to say the least. You probably put a clause, phrase, or participle where it
modified the wrong noun or pronoun. Example: “We saw the flowers walking in the
garden.” What the writer meant was “While walking in the garden, we saw the
flowers.”
"When
still a puppy, I taught Fido to shake hands.” Were you a puppy? Add a noun or
pronoun to correct the meaning. "When he was still a puppy, I taught Fido
to shake hands." Or take "I" out – “When still a puppy,
Fido learned to shake hands."
Can you
reword these sentences so they say what you mean?
“Being
in a dilapidated condition, I was able to buy the house very cheap.”
“As a
mother of five, with another on the way, my ironing board is always up.”
“Wondering
irresolutely what to do next, the clock struck twelve.”
Orphaned
pronouns also cause misunderstanding in a sentence. "The dog bit my tire and
then it sprang a leak." Although the pronoun "it" is closer to
tire, it still seems to refer to the dog because of the word "then."
Instead, say "My tire sprang a leak when the dog bit it."
If a
modifier rests too far from the word it modifies, the meaning can be confusing,
amusing and/or distracting. "Later I saw the dog with a girl on a long
leash.” If we place the phrase closer to
dog, we correct the meaning. "Later, I saw a girl with the dog on a
long leash."
Remember,
when you condense words to write tight, that you need to avoid the mistakes shown above.
2 comments:
Aw come on...if we fix all of these early on, crit. group readings will lose some of their flavor!!!
I'd answer but I'm in Cabo San Lucas until Sunday. Sorry, Dean.
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