(This is something I wrote a few years ago, that I came across while recently perusing my files).
I stare at my underwater screen saver. Colorful fish swim around, just like the thoughts in my brain. I keep tilting my head, hoping the stuff in there will either fall out or magically organize itself so I can think clearly again. It’s no use though; the only thing I seem to be accomplishing is a stiff neck.
One month ago, life seemed good. I sent out query after query and as I pressed send for each email, I knew no editor could refuse my brilliant ideas; after all, I had done my homework by feverishly perusing the Writer's Market, I had attended writers conferences, I had been published in Better Homes and Gardens (only once, but it was a great moment). I was no amateur writer!
Now I feel as if my life is on a downward spiral. I talk to myself each time I open my email.
“Today is the day! I am going to find a contract in my inbox and an assignment for three more stories.” Then I start playing games in my head.
“Get real. There won’t be anything except more rejections.”
“ No, today will be different!!”
“Oh please, get a grip.”
“No, really. I... I know it will be different today.”
I pause before opening my email. I seem to be moving in slow motion as I click on my mailbox. I close my eyes quickly; then slowly open one. There in the middle of my inbox is a response from an editor. With a trembling hand I click on it thinking maybe this is the one!
“Dear Writer, (this is never a good sign). Thank you for submitting your article idea BUT....”
With a big sigh I close down my email. Why do I keep doing this to my self? Why don’t I just give up?
All writers at one time or another have hit a moment like this, one where nothing seems to be going right. We feel like we must be horrible writers because no one seems to want our articles, books, short stories, plays…nothing is selling.
It is in these moments that true writers emerge and (using the well know cliché) the women are separated from the girls and the men from the boys. The die-hard writers are the one’s that push through these moments when others fall away. They are the one’s that sit back down at their computer and start writing again. They are the one’s that published.
So, what kind of writer are you going to be? Are you going to dwell among the masses who give up and never reached their full potential or are you going to rise above that and keep writing--even when it feels impossible.